to be lonely

i guess it my another time write the blog...i want change my life to be something

lonely doesn't mean its heavy...
just matter of time

lonely is only one time where The Man Up there want u to think something
if u cant find the answer...might be He don't want u to step up....

time just pass like that
decision to do something is same fast as blink ur eye...

to be better
lonely is the correct time to think....evaluate....ur self...ur mistake....ur good at....

just realize...there so much time that I wasted.....time 4 me to change it before i die....

i die...my heart die.....all die....

thats why..lonely is the answer....


love u Dad...u brigthen my world
momy...thankyou... d way u love me is everything to me

love my family...

love human....

love lonely...

is it nerds...

My headeche conquer my eye

I cant see any of God toy anymore.....

i feel i starting become one of the nerds...this few days I saw a lot of things that might be related to Nerds....

I dont want..but my mind starting to be busy....
I rater be silent....

i dont want my busy mind conquer my body and even my self..........

lately...i act wired when i'm alone....

my stuff also become wierd...

i want to be diffrent but i dont want be that way....

i want to tell you how its going..
.

the creature inside my eye...swim hapilly.....

swim to the ocean of eye..

there are so happy to swim...

but its disturbing my mind.....

and

i saw puppies cloud into my eyes....

How wierd.......

i cant tell you how exactly its......

its wierd...when it come...............

the God toy

I fly...

up....

into the sky....

and I saw....God creature....God toy......
i think u might dont know what it is...but its only my imagination when i go deep to the cloud...

i saw His toy....

people always says...when u see cloud...u can see tample of God....

I cant see it...but I saw his toy.....

I meet many wierd...out of mind creature....i never meet this thing....but i miss them....

"nice to meet you..."

waiting....

i was waiting for my flight...

where it always delay.....

then i saw another guy....quite old....with his small laptop...
he smile when he say it...it reminde me to an future old life..where the old people only hopes is their children...and only with their child they can talk and full fill their life...

huff....what an life.....its always have something...........you cant tell with words.....

what i want to write..is all about my life...

haha...i did it again....lazy type and all have to type in one time...

so...let see...i wont talk that long...

wokey....my blog...i want to share to you...last week what a happy days....finally my dad let me move to other place...i cant stay anymore at hostel....the place are small,wet and it dusty...the things make me still stay there is because of the power of aircond...it make me want to stay longer but i cant tahan it anymore...

i cant do my work as many as i want.....i got no privacy...i want my freedom..and i want my happy feeling when i draw come again to me....i lost this feeling since i make all so serious and i dont let my mind blow it...

so i think,its my time to move on and let my hobby become my world all the time...wo...i will move to taman sri mawar...but KBU hostel management really2 take people money..yarrrgghhh......example.the electricity bill is 30....when you share...u should give to kbu 15 bugs,rite...but they take it double....so 30 bugs each of us..WTH....okay..i dont care...but the things is...i should notice one month earlier to out of hostel

so i notice on 10 of december,i said i really2 out at 31st december...and that brandson said "you can move earlier but we still charge you untill 10 of december..."REALY2....arrrrgh......want me move out faster and still charge me extra money.

huh.......realy2 snake and mice at the longkang.........hhhhhhhhhuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhh
okay..so before i move i already plan how my rooms lookslike....and it blow my mind...cant sleep with it...

okay2.....step away from dream...my work still alot...i still have to do my own part....i think i start lazy to type...im going to stop for a while..later i will continue it..ehhehe........

conclusion for last last week

okay..it is looks like i didn't type my blog for a long time...actually i want to type it..but..the internet at my room really2 super n duper suck..

dear my online diary..i want to tell you what happen to me for this few days....

last few days....i cant control my emotion...for few days...i dunno what happen to me...my dark past come back again...I don't want it come again....i feel terrible if i together with it again...okay...i tell u at the story...

if i not mistaken,that was last last Wednesday...in the morning...we went to kl,to take the fire hydrant as the sign of the city n develop it...and the afternoon back again to bu to have tutorial with my lecture....so after the tutorial with Mr Sean...me n my group discussing about the work and the idea...

so this is the first day of my emotion comeback...when the group discussion happen...my dear friends...foo meng chun make me feel uncomfortable,sensitive and angry to him..i dunno what hapend to me,it is disscusion group,should be no problem if you are agree or not...

but this time i cant stand on it...my emotion come out...bcoz....a lot of time when i argue the idea...he always reject it....come on...whats the point i was in the group...so i can tahan...i go out...and find some ppl to calm down my mind...if i still at there,maybe i could not talk to him anymore..

okay....thats what happend that day..but the nex day...im already ok with him...he start talk to me again...and its okay....

but the next next day come again so disquisting happend and make me want to slap this person (at this time,this person refer to someone but not meng chun,but another classsmate)
wkwkwk.......

okay...i already alot of months become this person classmate..but i still cant merge with this people..
so this person and this person's friends always is act cool at class and its make me disquisting.....last time they dont do such thing....but i dunno...new enviroment make they behavior change and to respect with people is very low...never reflect them self,and said other ppl is anoying....cheese.....ITS CALL SUCK PPL.....maybe some of you after read this might get angry,suprise and anyother reaction..but i dont care....it is my diary..so why u want to read this..is because you busy body....then why i want to post it online...its because of my choice want to post it online...wkwkkwkw............BLLUUEEGGHH....I HATE YOU (chuan.z. 2007,p.kfc)

okay..so that day he show the bad face to me,like want to scold me...what the hell...i already try to be nice to you all of the time and now you reply to me like this ass hole act....hmm....looks like really bad words and i dont care..but start now on...i wont talk to him....few of my friends already kena by his trick...suck.....but now i belive what my friends said...

huh...really2...kurang haja...wkwkkwkw..........okay..that was my summary of last last week...
for next blog...i will add some story about last week...wkwkwk.....sorry...for being lazy to type this diary....

today...its d blog day...huh...

I HATE MR.SEAN!!!!!..............WKWKWKWKWKKW.................

Hmmm.........well today i start to make a blog..well my new online diary....well at the beggining i reallly dont understand and why people want to make this secret diary and post it online....but nevermind...let share d world with full of story....Life will be never complete without dramatic story..

Lets begin...hmmm.....dunno what i want to said..just telling what happend to day with my day....beggining of d day...I'm tired...my life start mess up again..my time when i should go to bed...time for me to doing work.....everything really really n really mess.....i need to start it again..

so..i get up coz i still love to go to class,my all lovely friends...my unique teacher will be there,and i need study more...i dont really satisfied with my learning outcome..i can do better n i can learn more....then...take a bath..see my roomie still sleeping...how nice isnt....sleep like princess but d behavior like poison apple witch....hehhee.....dont really like her attitude..

go to school....see my friends...see my lecture coming....after the class..TA DA......I SHOULD MAKE A BLOG......

WOookaay....
i kind of not really like to share on online diary..but...i should make my teacher happy...n respect him...wkwkwkkw........ok ok...no influnce from teacher....i made it coz i also curious how the blog is working and effect to other ppl...sometimes i also effected by others ppl blog...n i wonder how it can be works.....

then....im so happy with my teacher decision to choose group by choose any ppl that i can work with....but...d sad things...i feel guilty and lil bit sad to adilah...i cant group with her...well....it doesnt mean i dont want one group with her..but...she didnt talk with me lately...n i dunno why....so ok....if its comfortable with her...lets move on...some more she said,last time,she want to join another group..so i think its d best time for her to make friends with other and to be indipendent.i want my friends to be success after graduate...if she can do it now..hope in the future...d bright oportunity with her...all d best for her...

then...after the class n meeting finish....so we talk about where n what we are going to take picture...so we decide to go to hartamas...near MC's house....and...pusing pusing there...see d extra n supper expensive luxurios house over there...n feel...wow....its really KL life.....people can afford to buy house untill 3.ooo.ooo. ringgit....feels like...."okay...people can do it...why i cant do it....if i got chance...i will try..i will work hard...i do my best and there is no words imposible"

i need to try everything....i really love with my teacher quote...everything that he said, sometimes is true....i never think of little small sentences.. "you should try everything...try to go out from the aura around you..and you can see the different"

it is really work on me...even my dad said this thing.."when you work..you have to be different with others"hmmm..........so that i think is simple sentence,but the meaning behind it really deep...

hhm......i dunno what i am want to write again....i think i just end it for today....cao... see yah....